Start the conversation. Depression is real. We need to talk about it.

Cold, rainy, Sunday evening, I was assembling some new furniture at home while watching a Stand Up Comedy act on Prime Video. This guy is talk about how “Reality is stranger than Fiction” the movie on M.S. Dhoni and  briefly mentions Sushant plays the role. For a split second, the image of Sushant Rajput’s poster for the movie comes in my mind. All work done, I happily send the pictures of newly set furniture to my friends and then check my phone and see Sushant Rajput commited suicide in his apartment in Mumbai. I’m shocked, I call up my Ma and talk to her about the actor. My head is exploding. I sit down on my couch, I start going through the online posts and exchange messages with a few friends about what just happened. While Police will investigate what really happened, my gut says it is an outcome of the most Silent Killer - Depression. For almost 2 hours, all I can think about is how Depression is eating away young people in this lockdown. 2 days ago, I had a long conversation with a friend about this, one week ago I saw a short video recommended on YouTube about suicide, 2 weeks ago I read an article about young TV actors and media crew members committing suicide in Mumbai. These are all disconnected events, all culminating in this evening’s event that shook me from inside. This shit is real. Depression is real. It will not go away, till the time you say.

Actor Sushant Singh Rajput - first time I saw him on screen was some 10 years ago, when my mom used to watch this daily soap opera, “Pavitra Rishta”. This handsome hunk played a poor car mechanic, but his role was so honest, so was this guy’s acting. Sincere, honest, simple, good actor. A few years fast forward, I watched him in Kai Po Che movie trailer, which was based on “3 Mistakes of my Life” book. And I told mom - “aapka hero to movie mein aa gaya” (your hero is in movies now). Then we saw him in M.S. Dhoni - the untold story and then Kedarnath. He achieved so much in 10 years in life at the age of 34. But I always noticed his sincerity and humility, it was always there. I now know that his ex-manager also committed suicide 5 days ago. He had posted a very sentimental post about his late mother almost 10 days ago. But before he became an actor, as a brainy teenager, he joined Bachelors of Engineering in well reputed Delhi College of Engineering, he was intelligent and talented. He gravitated towards acting and dancing school, so good balance of left and right brain.

Talented, outsider to the Bollywood Industry, hardworking young achiever. So much like all of us, reading this. We are not famous and super rich, but we have all made lives for our selves in today’s world. Most of my friends have reached their positions in corporate sector purely on the basis of merit. I do not follow actors on Social media, but I spent last two hours just scrolling through Bollywood posts about him. I feel so heartbroken right now. Worst news in these pandemic times. I know, it might look like an over statement to you, but think about it. One healthy person, untouched by Coronavirus,  who did everything right in his life and earned the fame, money and respect of millions of people. He gave in to a disease which is well known, well recognised but so less spoken about. Depression is a silent killer. He committed Suicide. Period.


I read a few days ago how young TV actors in India have taken their own lives in the last 2 months of lockdown, it made me sad and concerned and I shared that article with a few people close to me. This incident just puts a big question mark on the mental strength and foundation of our generation. There is no scarcity of resources, almost everyone has a loving family, some have children of their own. Our parents who are just retiring from their jobs are in good health and are still supporting us, one way or the other - mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. We are actually the privileged generation. But somewhere in our core we lack the strength to get through tough times. We never really struggled to put food on the table, some of us might not have the latest phones, but we definitely have the smartphones, we never knew poverty, we are the top 1% of Indian society.   If we are NRIs, we are definitely on the tapered end of the bellcurve.

We have achieved so much, but somewhere we have forgotten our fundamentals, Ups and Downs are a part of life. Depression and anxiety will come with these good and bad times. I have seen it very closely in some near and dear ones. We need to know how to identify it. How to Deal with it. Who will support us during these tough times. I watched a TEDx Video last year on how to deal with Depression on on-going basis, it was simple. If you know, you are going to fall physically sick or get a flu, you drink warm water, you take appropriate medicine, you eat warm stuff. Similarly, when you identify that you are going through a phase and Depression is a possibility, you need to brace for it. Heal your mind, meditate, train your brain, do some exercise, take medication, reach out to your friends and family for support. Talk about what you are going through. The most difficult part of the day during Depression is getting out of bed in the morning and stepping out of your house.  We all have seen some such times in life. But to Depression patients, it impacts more than others. I can only imagine how they feel on those days. All I try to do is give a call on and off and see how they are doing.  Tackling Depression is not easy. But what makes it more difficult is not even knowing or acknowledging that there is a health problem. It is still a taboo in India and most parts of the world to talk about it. Some people still hesitate to reach out to Doctors for help. They can’t tell their friends for the fear of being judgement and derision.

All I want to say is start a Conversation, ask if they are feeling OK. Ask “How are you”, “Aap Kaise ho” as if you mean it. We are all busy with our robotic lives - jobs, money, mortgage, partners, children, ambition and social media. But there is a friend or family member who really needs us to care about him/her. Read about Depression and talk about it, when you can. We as a society, are not open to discuss these intense feelings, but it is required. It is so important to recognise the suffering to deal with it and move forward and come out of it stronger. Our parents, brother(s), sister(s), nieces, nephews - teach them that loss and failure is OK, its a part of life. Not everyone will be our friend or well wisher, people will talk behind our backs, we will face positive and negative criticism. There will be bullying and discrimination, even when we will expect it the least. We have to fight for certain things and while its good to put in all our effort, we still might not get what we bid for. It is still OK.

There will be days when talking to someone feels like the most difficult part of the day. The brain goes on a full swing with nonstop thoughts, Either there will be no sleep or no reason to come out of sleep. We all have to fight this silent killer together. If we wish well for our loved ones, we have to care enough to identify the problem and take the first step. The person who is in Depression is not that strong at that particular moment, all he/she needs is some love and support and medical help. Treat it as if it is real, because it is. Trust me.